I was at the contemplative eucharist service at our church last night, and the Iona chant we’ve been singing recently is a simple verse that begins with the words, “Take, O take me as I am.”
I couldn’t help but notice how appropriate those words are for me to sing right now. Lately I’ve been struggling with powerful emotions I’m not used to feeling. They rise to the surface in sudden moments, and words flit through my mind or stumble out of my mouth that seem so unlike the person I’ve known myself to be.
In some ways, I see these emotions as quite helpful. They’re helping me know my heart in a deeper way than I’ve known it before. I’m becoming aware of things that matter to me, and of ways I’m being invited to change and form and grow and interact with the world around me in different ways than I have before.
But in other ways, the power of these emotions scares me. I’m not so sure they’re wholly good. Maybe they are, and maybe they aren’t. Maybe they’re both. (That’s probably the case.) But the part that doesn’t feel the holiness of these emotions is the part that drives me to my knees before God, begging for mercy and wisdom.
I’m so aware of my frailty and fallenness.
And so this simple chant, asking God to take me as I am, provides great comfort. It reminds me that God does take me as I am, that God does meet me in this place, that God does love and accept me right here, even as the formation process of these emotions in me is yet unfinished.
I’m so thankful for that grace.
What is it like for you to invite God to take you as you are, right in this very moment?