Several times in the last few weeks, I’ve noticed changes in myself while in the midst of certain moments.
It got me thinking — and thankful — about the ways we change over time.
For instance, recently I found myself walking along with a new friend without anything top of mind to say. My usual pattern would be to wrack my brain for something to talk about — and probably to berate myself in the process to hurry up and say something interesting, worthwhile, or funny.
But I chose not to do that. Since nothing came to mind to say, I just let the silence be what it was, and I felt really okay with that.
That was a pretty surprising — and amazement-inducing — moment.
I saw that I’d changed. I wasn’t scared of the silence or of losing my new friend.
Another time I read a passage in a book that talked about the kind of character needed in a person for them to be ready to take up their calling. Normally, I would have analyzed the author’s words — along the way, analyzing myself — and clung to the book in an anxious attempt to find answers. I would have underlined and hemmed and hawed and wondered what it would take for me to measure up to my own calling.
But that didn’t happen this time. Instead, I noticed what the author said, agreed with him, and trusted that God is making me into the person I need to be to do the work he has for me to do.
That was another revelatory moment. I’ve seen enough growth in myself to know God is growing and changing me, so I don’t have to be anxious about it. Nor do I have to try to change myself.
Isn’t it interesting how we form and change over time?
Sometimes we don’t even notice it’s happening. We’re going along and slowly, almost imperceptibly, our values are changing. Our measures of ourself and others and God are changing. Our knee-jerk reactions are becoming less knee-jerk. We’re growing in our capacity for patience, generosity, and charity.
And then, one day, we notice it. We’ve changed.
I’m curious if you’ve noticed any changes in yourself lately.
When you look back over the last little while of life — it could be 3 months, the last year, the last 5 years, or even the last 10 years — in what ways do you notice you have changed? What is it like for you to notice those changes?