As I shared in my Bloglines review post, I've been using Bloglines to keep up with favorite blogs and new blogs, and to weed out blogs I discovered I didn't actually want to follow. I shared, too, that it didn't take long to unsubscribe from the nonstop strings of news feeds because keeping up with them made me feel like I was in constant hyperventilation mode. And just today, after four weeks of letting the posts in my business blog category pile up, one on top of the other so that they were chock full to overflowing, I finally went through and unsubscribed from each and every one of them.
Man, does that feel like an amazing, declarative act.
More and more these days, I'm gaining clarity that leaving full-time work in June was not so much about answering a call to business as it was about embracing the way God made me: with a heart that cares for people and their journeys through life with God. I've been wondering in recent weeks if it's actually a call to ministry I answered without knowing it. (And just saying "call to ministry" feels weird, because it's not as though I ever see myself becoming a pastor or a missionary or holding some specific church role someday.)
I continue not to know where all of this is heading or where I will end up, and I'm okay with that. It's enough for me to have a firmer grasp on who I am and what's important to me, flowing out of the way God made me, and to keep going along for the ride, trusting that each and every part of this journey will play an important role in the stops ahead. Somehow, business school will be important, whether in an obvious or not-so-obvious way. Somehow, my work on SC will have been important, whether it comes to see the light of day or not. Somehow, God is leading me along somewhere, whether I get to know the destination spots in advance or not. And all of that is okay by me these days. I'm content with the not-knowing, knowing that this is all still leading me somewhere good and right and real.
But none of that means I have to keep up with the world of business through business blogs and continued subscriptions to Inc., Fast Company, and Fortune magazines. I know enough now to know this much: that world just isn't for me. What freedom such knowing brings. What relief.