Tonight I launched registration for the Look at Jesus course.
These are words I'm just a little bit awestruck to have said. Launched registration ... as in, past tense. It's out there. The train is officially moving down the tracks.
I'm just a little bit terrified. :-)
I realized tonight, just before hitting the launch button, that this is perhaps the biggest risk I've ever taken. I told Kirk that even though I moved across the country to marry him and we flew to Europe to get married and we embarked on unique vocational paths that took us away from conventional careers for a while, none of those things ever felt scary to me. Marrying Kirk felt like coming home. Following a unique vocational path felt like something I had to do.
This, on the other hand, feels very much like risk.
Ever since I emerged from the woods with Jesus in early May, I've been living into a new way of relating to him and making decisions for my life. From something as simple as writing a blog post every morning for the Still Forming community to the launch of this online course, I'm learning what it means to depend upon Jesus for every next step and directive.
It's a beautiful way to learn to live -- a way of living that is really about dependence -- but it's scary too. It means that each time I take a step forward, there's just a little bit of risk. The risk is in trusting that I'm actually doing what Jesus wants me to do. The risk is in trusting I've heard him true.
So tonight, I've risked again. Look at Jesus: a Gospel immersion course is open for registration. I'm super-excited and amazed, but also a little bit petrified.